Sometimes at night, the cat would think: "Just one swipe of my claws, and it's gone."

Sometimes at night, the dog would think: "That thing is two bites. Two small bites."

Sometimes at night, the mother would think: "Just hold her head under water, and no more crying, no more screaming, no more anything."

Sometimes at night, the father would think: "A match. Just one single match."

Sometimes at night, the baby would think: "Everyone loves me."
- posted by Paul @ 8:24 PM

 
When we bled him, we had no idea what would happen. I mean, sure, we wanted the extra chromosomes that his white blood cells contained, the ones that could cure anything. It cured AIDS, it cured cancer, hell, it even cured death. But there was no way we could have predicted the ah… interesting side effects.

Did you know a coconut can be used for blood plasma? When you drink one, you give yourself an instant transfusion.

Drinking blood is not as bad as you might think. Drinking this blood is the same way, instant transfusion.

When we found him, he was living in a cave, buried under mounds of batshit, eating whatever crawled near him. The amazing properties of his blood are still being discovered.

What we didn’t expect was that he’d be a fucking vampire. And that sucking down a pint of his blood meant that we’d have to keep going, living off the lives of others. It’s no wonder he lives in a fucking cave.

Every person you drink lives in your head. They stay there. Screaming at you. Crying. Making your every waking moment hell. I am simultaneously a 10-year-old Thai boy, a 16-year-old Russian girl, a 48-year-old British man and a 36-year-old Australian woman. Later tonight, who knows what I’ll be. I’ve eaten too many people, and all their lives are growing and screeching in my brain and god help me, a dark cave in the center of nowhere is looking fucking beautiful to me.

- posted by Paul @ 7:57 PM